A few days before Christmas 2005 I got myself a little something for dropping some pounds as a part of a weight-loss thing I had going at the time.
It's a Braun epilator.
Now, for those of you who don't read S&M magazines, what this little gem does is rip out hair by the roots so that it grows back in a little slower than usual,
leaving the damaged area somewhat smooth and hair free for a longer period of time.
In all fairness, it is cheaper than laser hair removal (and it is not as permanent, either), and is far more effective than a regular razor is. And that's really why
I bought the little pain machine-I'm in a situation where a once or twice a month epilation will serve me better than attempting to shave my legs every third or
fourth day.
I will be updating my progress with my new toy every time I use it for a few months, so you'll know what to expect.
The first time (December 21, 2005)
A few tips that Braun didn't mention and should have:
1. Use a good moisturizer a few hours before you use the epilator. (I suspect a hot shower would work as well, but that isn't always practical.)
2. A stiff shot of your favorite adult beverage isn't a bad idea, either. Maybe even two.
3. You may want to shove a gag in your mouth. Screaming is considered bad form in some neighborhoods.
They tell you that you need to have hairs a certain length, etc. Good idea. I certainly did; I hadn't been able to shave my legs in about 10 days. So I plugged
my new little toy in, applied the thing to my right leg…and discovered that pain has color. Bright, flashy colors that I didn't even know existed. I swallowed hard;
at this point, I can't return the thing. It has a rather obvious chunk of my right leg in its happy little maw.
So with new resolve, I went to work.
20 minutes later, and after playing with both the heads that came with it, my legs are now (mostly) free from hair. (I am not ready yet to use this under my arms.)
A rather liberal application of moisturizer afterwards (which they recommend and so do I), and I am ready to take a few Aleve and sit for a time.
Once you get used to the feeling of hair being ripped from your body at a rapid speed, it isn't so bad. (Either that, or I went into shock.) I admit that this is not a
feeling I'd want daily; but then, neither is a bleeding leg from where I got twitchy with a razor.
The second time (December 28, 2005)
When they say your hair should be between x and y length, there's a really good reason. Too short, and you'll tear your skin to shreds, like I did on the back of
my hands (Don't ask). Too long, and you'll be in great pain.
This is why I will probably continue to shave my armpits. YIKES! That hurt.
On the other hand, since I ripped most of the hair off my legs a week ago, there wasn't much growing in on my legs, and using the little gem wasn't as bad as it
was a week ago. (I confess I did a poor job last week-I just could not get everything ripped out.) Sure, it hurt a bit-but since there wasn't as much growth, there
wasn't as much to rip out. And yes, it does do a far better job keeping one's legs (or other parts of the anatomy one cares to use it on) hair-free. After a week,
there wasn't that much to remove, and there was very little stubble. You gotta love it!
So yes-I am a little less sore, and somewhat happier camperette.
The third time (January 3, 2006)
Whoooooooooaaaaa…ooouuuuuch! …Maybe never under the arms is a good idea. It doesn't seem to matter how long or how short the hair there is, it seems
to be overly sensitive. It looks like I either will need something to numb the pain, or give it up there.
In other spots, however, I am either building a tolerance for said pain or I am finally getting the hang of this epilator thingy. The legs are in great shape, and now
it's just a matter of keeping them up until I have finally convinced the hair in my legs that it can take its sweet time regrowing there.
The chest area may be a little more painful to do, but if the results end up the same (I.E., less need to shave it every few days), it'll be worth it. (Word of caution:
keep the epilator away from your nipples, if you want to keep them. You have been duly warned.)
One thing I have discovered is that you just cannot rush this process. Better plan on spending at least 20 minutes or so going over every inch that you want to
epilate…twice. That way, you actually reduce the pain overall, and you get better results.
The fourth time (January 10, 2006)
Four weeks, and what little hair has come up goes out pretty quickly. Still not totally painlessly, but quickly. Less red bumps on my chest and on the back of
my hand...mostly due to a lot not being there to rip out. A little less pain on the attempt to manuver the little gem under my armpits...but I think I am going to
simply keep shaving there. It hurts just too much to keep trying.
I have also discovered that the little gem does not work well around my knees, for some odd reason. It doesn't matter which way I move the thing, it just will
not get the hair there...yet. It's not for a lack of trying, either. Still, as time goes by I am happier with this purchase. While it does not offer the permanence
of laser treatments, it does keep things pretty hair free. And that's what I am aiming for.
My hope is, by the summer I will only have to use the thing about once every three weeks or so. Contrast that to shaving at least twice weekly--and you can see
why I am subjecting myself to this.
The fifth time (January 16 and 17, 2006)
I decided to try working with the epilator over two days this time, in an effort to make sure I ripped all the hair out. Two 20 minute sessions, to be precise, focusing
on my chest/belly area and my legs. Doing this over two days may not be the "recommended" way of doing things, but I'll take it any time, to not feel like I am
being rushed. (The last few times I felt like I was rushing through this, and that isn't a good idea--you miss too much that way.)
The best way to get around the knees, in the middle of the cleavage, and any other curvy area with tight turns is to take any protective plastic thingy off and very
carefully submit yourself to the whole exposed epilator. Let me explain this: My little toy comes with two different plastic safety guards, for ease of use. By not
using these, it exposes all the hair pulling traits and nothing to protect your skin with. I do not recommend you do this often, nor do I recommend you do this until
you have gotten the hang of using one of these.
Otherwise, you are likely to pull your skin, and that would not only hurt, but get very bloody. However, it is very effective in certain areas if you do.
The sixth time (January 23, 2006)
I had to use the little gem in a hurry today. I didn't have the time I thought I was going to…but still managed to get a good fifteen minutes in. With little to pull, that
will just have to be enough for this week. I know that next week I will have a little better control of the time I'll have to use the thing.
Meantime, I am definitely loving the results I'm getting!
The seventh time (January 30, 2006)
I am going to have to find a better time to use this thing. 20 minutes does not seem to be enough, and with everyone's schedule being different it doesn't
leave me much time to do what really needs doing. However, what it does do, it does well, and so I will have to make use of the time I had to go over things.
Next week, though, I am going to have to be very intentional about using this and using it well.
Having said all that, I am still rather happy with the longer term results. Again, I am finding that even 20 minutes with the epilator is still better than
20 minutes with a razor.
The eighth time (February 6 and 7, 2006)
This is the last entry for this article, as nothing really has changed much. I'm pretty well used to the ripping out of hair, and after a day or two, my skin settles
down and I look great. I have found a few last items, though:
1.Take your time. One longer session works better than two smaller ones if you can swing it.
2. Follow the directions. They really do work.
3. Shower before, or at least use some skin cream an hour or so beforehand…and definitely use skin cream after.
4. Choose your epilator carefully. I like mine, but if I had it to do over I'd get the more expensive, rechargeable battery type.
5. Relax. If you are tense, it hurts worse.
6. Painkillers can be your friend. So can adult beverages.
7. A gag might be useful, at that.
That's really all there is to say about using an epilator. Good luck and happy ripping!
