Names are important to us as humans. We name our kids, our cars, we have nicknames for our close friends and family, and even pet names for our S.O.'s
(Or, is it that we have S.O.'s that act like pets, and hence need naming? I forget.)
Anyway, prior to my trip to Montreal, I actually took the plunge and filled out a form I keep in my purse, and another in my personal files. All it really says is
that I am, for all intents and purposes, and for anything that does NOT require me to be my male self, A nonoperative, MTF transsexual named MaryJayne
Minako Sakura. It has both my male AND my female signatures, and once we move back to the west coast, I will redo it and get it notarized.
I chose this route for two reasons: First, I am married, and thus, have a certain obligation to my spouse to show up as a man in some cases. I have to work as
a man, by and large. Second, to actually go through the state and process all the paperwork, get a new license, Social Security Card, etc. is tough to do since
the passage of the Patriot Act. For example, I would have to have a psychologist's evaluation, go through the courts, etc.
But by using a commonlaw form, I can bypass that, and simply keep my current male ID as is, with the rider I carry. I also have an ID card showing me en femme
that I carry, and so I can go shop, drive, etc. with the knowledge that if something happens, I have some legal ground to stand on. Is it perfect? No. Is it legal in all
states? No. Is it a start? Yes, and for some of you who spend more time female than male, it may very well be how you need to start.
I can already hear a number of you screaming "Why don't you take the next step? Why not start with the psych team? Why not move into hormones, and go full
time? Why wait to transition?" That's easy for some of you to say, because you won't ever go there, and for some who do, you can afford the forward motion.
I can't...not fiscally, and really, until I move to a new locale, I can't do the emotional side either. Not yet, at least. What that issue is really about is more than just
a change of name. You would ask me to change my status, and right now, I am not looking to move into that realm of 95% full-time or better. I will most likely do
so, soon enough, and I can do it with no regrets. That's the way I want to do this. After all...this is MY life! J
Now the big question: why? The answer is not elegant, but it IS simple.
I spend an increasing amount of time publically as Jayne. Even if I am not totally en femme, I wear women's clothing all the time now. My breasts have gotten to
the point where if I don't wear a bra, I hurt...and I jiggle. Makeup most days is no longer an option, it's a necessity. Thus, I shop as Jayne, drive as Jayne, and have
to do certain things as a woman. I have to be able to point to some sort of documentation to prove I am who I say I am...and not out to defraud or prey on someone.
(Like I said...the Patriot Act has NOT been good to me. Or you, either.)
In short...I am living as a woman to the extent that the next steps I take start involving legal issues. And like I said...that will be soon enough and with no regrets.
