On An Averted Tragedy

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Never take life for granted, especially the life of another.

Last week, I almost put my oneko (man-cat) to sleep. I'm not talking about letting the lovable little furball (okay, butterball might

be a more accurate term, but I'm getting ahead of myself) take a snooze in the papasan throne, I am talking the translation to the

He'd lost almost 20% of his body weight in a 4 week span, which is not too unusual for him in the spring. He does tend to drop

near a pound or more in early spring, he has every year since he adopted us in the fall of 1998. This wouldn't hurt him, as he was

considered somewhat on the heavy side (15 pounds is a lot for what we seem to think is an American Shorthair). He had also

developed a set of skin lesions that required some meds, which seemed to make him a tad lethargic, and so we thought his

sleeping 23.5 hours a day and lack of appetite were due to the twice a day pills.

Except he finally quit eating altogether. By Thursday of Holy Week 2004 he was down to licking gravy off of wet cat food. By

Good Friday, he couldn't even do that much. We took him back to the vet, where the news was grim: He had diabetic

ketoacidosis, and hepatic lipodosis, and was in the words of our vet, “A very sick kitty.” My oneko was nekomi (Literally,

We didn't know what to do. Shadow is only 5 years old as I write this; young for a cat, really.

In tears, we set an appointment for the vet. We talked, and he repeated his diagnosis for both of us, plus some friends. It was

very, very grim. He'd treated other animals with the same problems; some made it, some didn't. There'd have to be insulin

shots administered for the rest of his mancat-life…if he survived the treatment.

Although I wasn't sure what to do, the SO and I had talked about putting him down. For two hours prior to the meeting with the

vet, we went around and around. We were both numb. The vet said if it were his cat, he'd treat him. If he could be stabilized-a

very expensive proposition-then he'd have a good quality of life.

This was one of those moments that kind of define your values. I rose to my feet, very unsteady, eyes burning due to two hours

The others in the room with me inhaled sharply. This was not what they expected! Shadow looked up at me as though I was

nuts as well; but after crying all over him for the last 15 minutes, it might have been just the suddenness of my rising.

The vet simply smiled and said that he was a lucky cat. Was that a look of gratefulness on Shadow's face? Saturday, he was

much improved. He certainly had more energy trying to undo himself from the IV and catheter tubes than I'd seen in two weeks.

My SO still was not too sure how things would work out. I had to remain determined that the vet was right, and doing all he

The vet called Easter evening. It looks like, barring a sudden reversal, that my beloved oneko will be home by Tuesday or

Wednesday, and terrorizing his sisters by the weekend.

This about an animal-well loved-that I almost killed needlessly. He should have another 5-8 good years, according to the vet,

if we take proper care of him. (I say should because nothing is ever certain with feline diabetes. He might not be here for

Christmas. If that's the case, at least I'll know I did everything I could for him.)

So, what does this have to do being a TG/TS? Very little. This has more to do with the way we live our lives as people (not just

We talk about this and that. We share things about “if we could” or “what about this.” If I took hormones. What about buying

that skirt or dress? If I went out to the gathering en femme. What about…whatever.

Ladies, we have to make decisions on a daily basis. It's more about living your life to the fullest, and living your convictions. I

had to put some serious shoe leather on my convictions this weekend. It was in trusting myself to do the right thing at the

right time. Just like when I started hormones, when I started wearing makeup daily, when I first decided that just “dressing

up” was not enough, and that I had to live as Mina to be truly fulfilled. These were choices that I made because I am

Dear ones, this is why I say you need to be sure about who (not what) you are, and know (for sure) should you start down

the hormone trail that this is what you really, really want. Because you may well get called on it sooner than later. Please

be prepared; for that day will surely come. The day you get read. The day the hormones arrive. The first day of your real-life

experience. The day the credit card bill shows up--with that $300 dress you bought (Or $172 in makeup). Whatever it is in

It is now Wednesday morning, right after Easter. The oneko is back home, I have given him the first few of what appears to be

many years of insulin injections. He goes back to the vet on Monday for his first followup. He gained a pound while in the care

of the vet, and by all accounts has pretty well recovered. The vet is amazed at how well and how fast he bounced back.

I'm not. We had people praying for him (and us), others sending positive vibrations and chi, and after all…he is not quite six

years yet. Thanks to all who have helped in the healing process. (If you'd like to help offset the $1154 vet bill, click here when

you are done reding this article and scroll to the bottom of the page. All donations cheerfully and gratefully accepted.)

The life-lessons learned, however, will be with me for quite awhile. I have had to look at a lot of things in a new and different light.

I find myself hoping that I am the woman I think I am, and that others see me in the same light.

I also find myself hoping that I am the woman my oneko thinks I am.

It is now nearly a month since these events transpired. Shadow no longer needs insulin--although his diabetes is in remission for

now, we know eventually we will have to revisit shots. Not for a long, long time, I hope. He has also finished all the antibiotics he

needs for now, and will be taking a pill to aid his liver at least every other day for the rest of his feline life. It appears that the skin

lesions that kicked the whole mess off are gone, and there is a possibility that the treatment for this may have brought forth the

The lessons I learned are still with me, though. It has given me-and some others-food for thought.