Moving Forward

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I started my 2nd tube of Estrogel today. This seems to work better than the Premarin is; although both in combination with each other is doing very nicely,

thank you. I still have tenderness in the breasts, but the results are worth it.

The results are also starting to become pretty noticeable. Which is fine by me in any case; the looks I get from guys are well worth it!

Going back through things and putting them out in print for all to see seems to be a healing thing for me. It is allowing me to drain some of the fear, some of the

questions that I have been dealing with alone and giving me a fresh perspective.

Not that I want to relive all this stuff again-but by writing it out again, I can finally put some stuff to bed that needs to sleep, and become part of the dead past.

For the first time in a long time, I have long nails on. I got an inexpensive set from Wal-Mart and put `em on tonight.

It's wonderful. I miss having my hands look pretty; but given the circumstances I'm dealing with, I have little choice. I know they'll have to come off in the morning,

but with everyone out of the house tonight, I can sleep in a silk nightie, with long nails and freshly shaved legs. I'd forgotten how tough it is to type in these things,

but then, I don't have to type fast, so I can relax-and enjoy.

I've written a lot of articles over the last few weeks. (I finally had a chance to brainstorm some ideas.) I've taken a lot of pictures this month, too. It's about time, too.

I'd like to take them more often than I do, but just haven't had the time-until now.

It's because I've had more total, 100%, full-bore Mina time in the last few weeks than in the last few months...combined. I've actually had to schedule and plan that

time, but it's proven to be helpful in a lot of areas. (Plus, I get a lot more done that way.) In fact, I spent almost a full half day-4 hours-fully dressed today. I got so

much done, I'm looking to see if I can't repeat this next week…twice.

In addition, it's allowed me peace in other areas of my life as well, and that's good. Because all too soon, I'm going on a long trip back to the Midwest, and I won't

get any full-bore Mina time for five weeks. I'll have some “Pseudo” or partial Mina time, but I'm going to have to toe the line for those weeks.

I'm not really looking forward to it, but it has to be done. It sucks to have to work.

In other news, my SO has decided that I “suffer” from Gynocomastia, or Male Breast Growth. (I'm not going to dissuade her otherwise; it allows her an ability to

explain to other why I wear a bra, and she's okay with that. In addition, I'm not suffering…I rather enjoy having boobs.) She got this info from Discovery Health

Channel, who broadcast a show dealing with the issue. Whatever works for her, I suppose. With this trip up and coming, she's worried about my comfort level,

What a day I had today. Four hours of total Mina time. Dressed, made up, jewelry, the works. I got a lot of stuff done, including updates to the website, and looked

good doing it. New pictures while I waited for the laptop to charge, and those are up now, too. I got some work done for a class I needed to get done, and will send

I love being a full woman--even if it's for just a few hours.

I didn't get to spend as much full Mina time as I would have liked today--things just didn't work out for me. However, to make up for that, I am going on a shopping

spree over the next few days--there's stuff I need to get, and a few things I'd like to have anyway. Stiil, I got to spend a little time dressed, and that's good.

The bad part is that I almost got walked in on dressed. Seems the So's Mom came back fro her errands early. I had just decided to tone down the outfit and put

stuff away, so I was in the bedroom with the door closed not more than a minute or so before she came in. Where I had been--the computer--is in full view of the

garage entryway--which is where she walked in. I'm glad I listened to that sixth sense thing. Otherwise, I'd be a real unhappy camper right about now. As Melanie

Ann Phillips writes in her story, The Reluctant Girlfriend: "It was a Maalox Moment." Or would have been, but close enough to make me want to stay in the room

Sometimes, it's the little things that make a girl's day.

Went out looking for a B-4 bag (Read: a garment bag with lots of pockets) with the SO. This is nothing new. It came to be lunch time while we were out,

and so we went into a restaurant for lunch. Also, nothing terribly new about that. But because of how I looked, and the fact it was a little dark, the waiter

greeted us with, "Good afternoon, ladies...right this way to a table." I could not believe this really cuuuuute waiter just called me a lady--so I played along.

Keeping my voice in as femme a mode as I could, I allowed him to seat us, ordered a beverage, and just simply let this hottie make an idiot of himself. If

he had gotten a better look at my face instead of drooling over my boobs, he might have been okay. My SO just shook her head.

I'm back from Grandmere's funeral. I'm unpacked, laundry done, repacked for five weeks...and just got word that one more of the Portland People might just be

So what. Big deal. I won't have much time to chit-chat with the man, and I suspect he won't have much time to deal with me either--especially if he's a speaker.

Still, it's good to know that in advance...even though I will be in male mode that whole chunk of the trip. I can be ready for anything, that way.

I will miss being able to be Mina totally, so I am taking advantage of everyone's absence today to go all out--full makeup, wig, skirt, the works. I feel so normal

right now. I will cherish the times I've had over the next few weeks.

I will also miss being able to update the website. I will be keeping tabs of both Diary and the Travel section, so all I'll need to do is update the website once I get

I have a few minutes to write here as well. Did some looking over the website, and found some stuff I'll have to fix (in Derbytown Dalliances) when I get home.

I enjoy reading some of my own travels at times-they're a great reminder that I can be femme on the road, and not just at home.

I'm doing well, so far. I've been far more active writing the travel piece, but still…yesterday's time as a more femme looking person did me well, and once I'm

done here I have a lot more leeway. I am also staring the long process of pulling together interviews for book four. That will see publication sometime next year,

I am sure. I have to do the work for book three first; now that I have the software I will have to transfer it all and send it to Katie to do the cover.

I need to get back downstairs to the booth-but even though I'm in homme mode right now, they can't take the heart and soul out of this woman! (Much less

Don't ask me what happened to October. It disappeared on the Interstate Highway System. Read about my October here. Go ahead...I'll wait.

I have just a minute or two before I have to get the rest of the stuff packed for Thanksgiving. I am heading back "home" to the Bay Area for the holidays,

and so I have to keep moving. We pick up the rental at 2 pm, and the SO wants to be on the road by 3. The only downside of going home is that I can't

Still, I have enjoyed some quality femme time of late. I mean, I spent the 12th of this month pretty much en femme all day. There is more of that to come.

I am working on a new book, and getting the final text laid into form for Beyond the Weekend. (That's been in prepublication too long, I know--but I now

own the software to put it together myself.) I hope to have Beyond The Weekend ready by the first of the year. With two books in the works, and a major

revision of the photo section--plus my usual "pay the bills" work--I am due for a few days down time.

Plus, it'll be good to see all the family again. Daddy, the Momma, and my two sisters, plus their significant others.

I'm back, and glad to be so. I made some time to go full-Mina this afternoon, and really enjoyed it. I really need to do it more often! J

I find myself wanting to go full time, more than ever. That way, I can devote a little more time to doing things like working on my books. I just scrapped the

first few pages of "Beyond the Weekend" because the program wasn't doing what I wanted it to do. I will take another look at it tomorrow; I just got a bit

frustrated with the software...and it was doing what it was designed to do. It's not the software's fault...just the bitch behind the keyboard. The good news is,

I know how to make the work go faster now, once I can get the pages to behave. I have almost all the answers from my respondants for my fourth book; I

suppose I need to get a name for it soon. It's hard to work on things like that when once has to have a secret identity!

Outside of that, I picked up a few pounds, but will get them dropped soon. My leg seems to have healed nicely, and while I still need to be careful, I spent a

I am sitting here, fully dressed, made-up, in a skirt/blouse combo and hose and flats, wig firmly in place. Like I ought to be daily.

Goddess, I wish this were an everyday occurance, and not a temporary thing! But since the house is empty--and will be for a bit--why not take advantage of it?

I know nobody will be here until at least 1 PM, and it is such a wonderful feeling to be able to move about freely.

Someday, it will be. Once we can get a place of our own, I will have the kind of freedom to do this daily. I can hardly wait!

Until then, I will just have to be really careful.

I spent my working hours today dressed more than usual...it's tough to call people with a wig on and an earring in place. But I did it, and I will find ways to do

it again--and more. The hard part was wearing the little receiver for my work phone--but it was that, or have makeup all over the phone. (The phone does have

a speaker on it, but for discussing programs with potential students, privacy is better.)

I get more done when I am comfortable. I am wearing my pushup pads a bit more as well--but will back off those for a bit unless I am wearing really loose

fitting stuff about the house. Too tight and I look like...well, the woman I am. Which doesn' t bother me any, but it might the SO's folks. I still have to behave.

I have been given some rather interesting news: Premarin is no longer being made at my dosage level. My doc warned this might happen, and now I have a

choice: either (a) double a lower dosage and continue the dual therapy, (b) discuss a switch to a new drug and continue dual therapy, or (c) switch solely to

Estrogel. Going to a straight Estrogel regimen has pluses and minuses, but one of the biggest pluses is that my body may well tolerate it better. I will have to

consider my options--but I have to hurry; I will need to renew my prescription by soon. And since I order by mail, and it is December...things take longer the

I am also consdering laser hair removal. It's about $125 a session, and it runs 8-10 sessions per area (chest, leg, etc.). But...I wouldn't have to shave those

areas again, and it would make me that much more femme. The question is one of money; I don't want to start something and not finish it out. Just something

Based on some advice from friends who know, I have decided to go off Premarin and move to an Estrogel-only regimen. In a way, it is the end of an era for me;

but I just can't justify the costs of the dual therapy. I have made some adjustments to next year's budget for this--but since I am sending the last payment off to

I have dropped another pound to 178. I am a week ahead of schedule, and that is a good thing as well. I hope to be less than 175 by the first of February; at the

rate I'm moving I might make it sooner than that. Maybe I'll shoot for less than 170 by April. I don't know yet; we'll see.

It's the end of an era. Tonight I took the last dose of Premarin, and much like the first, there wasn't a whole lot of fanfare. I just took them. It's a little sad, in a way.

I've gotten so used to taking the little buggers it'll seem strange not to. On the other hand...I am looking forward to the all-Estrogel regimen. Less filtering through

the liver and kidneys may mean more hormone going to where it'll do the most good.

I have to go now--there's a New Year's Party I have to leave for. That's right--I am not hosting the Bash this year. That also seems strange, but that's okay as well.