So I am taking a break from settling down in the new apartment. We've almost got everything unpacked and settled-not bad for two and a half weeks!-and I finally
have a chance to sit in my office and write something fit to read. I thought of writing an article-”On Unpacking As A Woman”-but decided against that. It's pretty
boring stuff, really. I mean, how much detail of the junk I've had in storage do you really want to know?
I have some time to contemplate my womanhood now. I do this on a regular basis, if for no other reason than it is a good form of therapy, in a way. It also allows me
a chance to breathe for a moment. I've had a chance to take some new pictures; they're up. I am feeling more like the woman I've become than ever before. I wake up,
do the things I need to do-eat my Special K, get out of my nightie and into a sports bra and panties, do my Yoga, get dressed, do my makeup, and then go to work.
These days, because it's hot (finally!), it's panties and a bra, a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and ped socks. Makeup-while there-is light. (It'll melt otherwise.) My office has
a distinctly feminine touch to it (except for the boxes and tubs that still need to be dealt with). In short…there are two women living in this apartment.
It is wonderful to live like this. I wish you all could…and yes, little missy, Miss Minako knows how blessed she is!
And on the days when the S.O. has to go to Portland for her rehearsal, they get better. Because I get to stay full bore Mina-makeup and all-until I have to leave for
rehearsal. That's an extra 2½-3 hours…plus the time afterwards until about 12:00 AM, when Cinderella has to return from whence she came. (Remember, we have
an agreement: I don't appear full-bore in front of her, and she doesn't ask me potentially embarrassing questions.) That means I can enjoy my dinner-tonight was
Chicken Oriental, a decaf Coke Classic, and Strawberry Shortcake for dessert at a grand total of 540 calories (Thanks to Weight Watchers' little red boxes)-fully
dressed, fully made up, candles lit, soft music in the background, and fully feel like the woman I am.
It also means I can remove my makeup, enjoy a nice hot shower, do my hair-and still have time to write this down and make my rehearsal.
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So it's late at night now, and I have about an hour before the SO comes home. I'm in my nightie, wig and boob inserts in place, and just relaxing. I've had my evening
hormones, and have some Kitaro playing in the background.
I love being a woman. Yes, all the things I have to do are a pain, but I can't imagine not living this way. It's what I've become. Yes, I still have certain things I have to
present as a male for…but those are few and far between. It's the living like a woman, doing life everyday as a woman, having-no, getting-to do the things that women do,
and getting to be the way I am supposed to be. Do I have it all down pat just yet? No. I am still working on the voice thing; that's harder for a vocalist I think than for others.
And since I have sung since I was a little girl, there's a lot there to work with…but at the same, I find parts of it easier than others.
When I wake up, I wake up as Mina. Since I work from home, I work as Mina, and do most of the housework as Mina as well. (Yes, I do most of the housework. Your
point would be…?) I shop as Mina, or at least mostly so. I think like a woman, and I live like one, and for all intents and purposes, and become one (dangly bits
notwithstanding).
In 2002, I wrote that I was still seeking the essence of femininity…but now I feel closer to it than I ever have before. I'm not there yet-the essential essence of womanhood
is still not totally grasped, but I am that much closer now, and it makes a huge difference in how I live these days. Even if I don't totally understand or grasp it, I know it
better now, in an internal sense that I can't quite explain to you.
So, that shows some sort of progress over the last six years. Which is A Good Thing.
And, I still think it's better than trying to live as an armadillo. J
