The New Diary Section

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Let's just say that this year can only be better than last year....

Even T-Girls have bad days. Yesterday was one of them. Today isn't looking any better.

Last night was bad. I was late getting up, late to work, burned my lower lip on a piece of pizza (a bit of scalding hot cheese draped itself over it) and I was up half

the night. Today I am not well, my lip hurts, and I know I'm in trouble when it's 10:40 AM and it's all I can do to sit and watch whole Underdog story arcs on Youtube.

I'm going back to bed now. I may write more later...I may not.

I can't believe that January is already two-thirds gone. Where does the time go?

Tomorrow we install a new president. Hopefully, he'll be better than the last one. Also hopefully, he'll restore both the economy and some basic rights that have

been boldly snatched from us. At this point, I'll settle for economic stabilization if I can only pick one thing.

Meantime, I am feeling better, my lip is healing, and the last few days I've been able to wear lipstick again-- though I admit I've had to be careful applying it. I've

had to watch all my makeup, frankly...I attempted to inhale a shot of perfume on Friday, and just about put an eye out applying mascara on Saturday.

And, either I am getting bigger boobs or my bras are shrinking. Maybe a bit of both; my current dosage of Estrogen is between 6 and 7.5 mg/day. Of course, it

could also be a slight bit of winter weight gain.

Geez, what a day. I’m trying to do waaaaay too much, even by Wonder Woman standards. Three part time jobs, two choruses, and a PhD. program.

Plus trying to get dates to get Daddy scattered with the sisters and The Momma.

Makes me long for the good old days, whatever those were.

I’m barely getting things done as the woman I am. I cannot imagine trying to handle all this as the guy I used to try to be. The feminine ability to multitask is helpful,

but even that can’t put me in three places at once, nor can it add any more time to my days. I wish I could get things to slow down for a few days, just so I can get

Instead, I just have to do my best as the woman I’m living like. At least I feel like a real woman; today the boss asked me to get him a cup of coffee.

Took some new pics last week; I was long overdue, especially since the last batch I took was right around Daddy’s funeral and I looked awful. Finally had a

chance to pick the best ones and get them up online. These look really good! I need to lose a little weight yet (like that’s something new), but these came out

Today I did something I never thought I'd have to do: I suspended a thread on TrannyWeb. As much as I dislike censorship (and especially in someone else’s website),

this thread had gotten too far out of hand as well as too far afield, so I had to stop it. Seems a little strange to me, that’s all. I won’t hesitate to do it again if I need to.

I've been a busy bee the last few weeks. Singing Valentines, a webinar, working two part time jobs, trying to write articles for the website, etc. does take a toll on a girl.

Still, I make time for myself. I try to rest, exercise and eat well. (Maybe too well.) While life isn't great, it's not all bad, either. I just wish I had enough income...I'm worried.

I'm going to get creamed on my taxes this year, and I have very little left in savings. What I need is a miracle.

Funny...that's what the economy needs as well.

Miracles seem to be in short supply. Since February, there's been a trainwreck in my life. (You can read about it here, because there's just no sense in going on forever about it.)

Vacation this year was in Anaheim. I went drab, for various reasons, but have essentially a free week in Hawai'i courtesy of The Momma. It'll be with family, so I'll have to be careful,

I'm still not sure about my unemployment. I hope to see a check soon; otherwise, rent may very well wipe me out of what little I have left.

I'm doing well enough otherwise, other than my SO looking at me and thinking she spotted some mascara that didn't quite come off. Looked like a smudge. I waived her off, but at

this point have come to the conclusion that I just don't care to hide much right now. And, maybe not hide anything else anymore.

Funny thing is, right now I need to be laying low. I have just quit caring about getting caught, and am entertaining the thoughts of coming out and being done with it. We'll see.

Then a call came in that actually did me a world of good: The Momma was having surgery on her dominant hand. I had a hunch I would be needed, so after a weekend of camping

(which you can read about here), I did some laundry, packed a suitcase with girlstuff, and headed home.

The Momma had surgery on her right hand today, and so I left Oregon and drove all the way down here, alone. In full-bore Mina mode. Which was great fun, especially when it

got to be time to buy gas and dinner. Gas was interesting; the guy that had been following me pulled around to a pump on the other side and was talking about how that crazy

person drove like a woman. I looked around, and about that time spotted the Princess Cruiser. (I had the SO’s car, not my trusty Princess Flyer this trip.) He sized me up and

continued on...”drives like f**king Danica Patrick.”

For dinner I dropped into McDonalds, dropped the wig and girls, and used the facilities. I have long ago decided that when I go into a place like that, a less femme mode is

better; there are kids around. Used the facilities, ordered my dinner to go, than got back into the Princess Cruiser, replaced wig and boobs, and drove on home. I removed the

wig and boobs when I got into town, before I got home. This is no time to out myself to The Momma. (I did leave the bra and mascara on, however.)

More to come, I’m sure! Meantime, I’m a tired girl. So into my nightie I’m getting, then to bed.

First thing this morning I took some pictures in the nightie. Then I got dressed: a royal blue scoop v-neck tee, panties and pad, tan shorts, girl ped sox, and some mascara.

Then it was off for lunch and errands: Buffalo Wild Wings, the local Reserve base so The Momma can fix her ID card (She’s a military widow, after all), then off to Dress Barn.

She was wanting to get a gift card for a friend; we both were looking at outfits. We then stopped at a BBQ place for cooker accessories, then went to Pier 1 and Bed Bath &

Beyond. She got me some new Turbie Twists; mine have long ago disintegrated. We stopped at Taco Bell for dinner, then hit Walgreens up for an ice bag for her hand.

Once home, I changed into a navy blue top from Talbot’s, long slacks, added a bra, a little more mascara and some perfume, and headed off to go see an old friend. I stopped on

the way and got some new earrings; I’d left all of mine at home in the hurry to pack. That was a fun time with my friend, and that’s all I’m saying about that. After that meeting, I

stopped at Walmart and got some new eyeshadow and lipstick.

An old girlfriend was my cashier. She’s gone to pot, but still sweet. SInce I had on my femme “wedding ring”, I think she thought I was getting this stuff for the SO, but I don’t

And frankly, I don’t care what she thinks of me these days. Or if, for all that.

Once home, it’s back into the nightie, and off to sleep I go. It’s been a very long day again, and tomorrow looks to be as busy.

Today I wore: panties and pad, a bra, a blue and white striped girl tee, tan shorts, girl ped sox, and some mascara. Then it was off for more errands. We took The Momma’s

car in to Aamco for some work, then off to Walmart. We started looking for lunch: Lumpy’s, Pantera Bread (where we were both greeted with “May I help you, ladies?” I love

that!) then settled on Chili’s. After lunch, which included an interesting discussion of hormones for teenagers, it was off to Petsmart. We passed another Dress Barn long

enough for me to put the location in The Momma’s GPS, then hit up Cost Plus and Coldwater Creek. Then it was back to Aamco to pick up the her car, and we rounded off

Once all was said and done, and we were home, I opted to head upstairs a little early. I got into full makeup, wig, boobs, earrings, and the outfit I had worn last night, and took

some pictures. I had just gotten out of everything, and was about to get in my nightie when The Momma knocked on my door with something she had seen on the iPhone. Since

I don’t have an iPhone, this was a little silly. But I put a pair of shorts on, and we talked for another 15 minutes or so.

I finally convinced The Momma to head back downstairs, so I could go to sleep. I’m back in my nightie, and it’s sleepy-nite time. It’s been a very long day again, and tomorrow

I’m in a hotel room in Anderson. I’m alone.

Today I wore: panties and pad, a bra, my rainbow striped girl tee, khaki slacks, girl sox, lipstick, some perfume, and mascara. Then it was off for yet more errands. We took

Momma’s car down to the bank, to the cell phone place where she got a new phone, then to McDonald’s, where I introduced her to a southern style chicken sandwich and

After that, I took her home and hit the road. Once on the highway, the wig went on and my boobs went in, I applied some eyeshadow, and I drove for three hours solid to get

here. I had a few odd looks when I checked in, and dinner was a hoot at Mr. Pickles, but all went well.

Once all was said and done, and returned to my room, I got into full makeup, wig, boobs, earrings, and took some pictures. I’m now back in my nightie, having taken some

pictures in that, washed the makeup off, and it’s time for bed. It’s been a very long, hot day, and tomorrow I need to get home and repack for the weekend.

I’m finally home long enough to unpack. After driving home in full bore Mina-mode, which includes wig, boobs, makeup, girl clothes, getting gas before leaving Anderson, a

trip to Roseburg Mall, the McDonald’s in the Walmart there, and a stop at the Starbucks on the way out of town--all in full woman mode--I arrived back at the apartment.

I had exactly 90 minutes to repack for the weekend, get out of full-Mina mode (which also meant removing all the makeup) go to the credit union and get some cash, get the

mail, and get the Princess Cruiser reloaded with the SO’s stuff and mine. her brother won a weekend in a four star hotel in Portland, and invited us to share.

I enjoyed a four-star dinner Saturday night, a champagne brunch this morning, a great room and a wonderful weekend in Pseudo-Mina mode. After the last week, it was a bit

of a letdown to have to go that way, but this is family, and I have made the SO a promise. Still, I was in all women’s clothing, and wore a little mascara and a clear lipstick.

Still, it was quite the weekend, and more than made up for getting stuck out beyond the ends of the earth.

I can tell I’ve been in full girl mode for the last week. I have the following symptoms: mood swings, irritability, depression, anxiety, angry outbursts, fatigue, cravings

(especially for salty or sweet foods), confusion/fuzzy thinking, bloating, minor weight gain and headaches.

My body is cycling. I should have known; my recent round of hormones started about 4 1/2 weeks ago. I have been on hormones long enough to see this. I am showing

symptoms of PMS, or better in my case, progesterone deficiency. Just what I need on top of everything else.

Some days, it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed. At least I don’t have cramps. If all holds true, I should be done in time for the weekend. Meantime...give me chocolate and

This is a bad time to be cycling. I’m coming up on the first anniversary of Daddy’s passing, and I have wanted to cry all day.

Fortunately, when the tears started to come, I had removed my mascara; it would have run. I still have a need to cry, but at least some tears started to come.

I wish, I wish I could just let go. But for some reason, I can’t, and haven’t been able to since he died. I need to cry, just once more, and let it go. It would be healing.

But nothing more than a few tears. And an intense sadness.