Darlings, let me tell you something straight up: Living in the world I do-the world of the Non-Op, MtF Transsexual-isn't always a bundle of yocks. I'll grant you, it
has its moments…but it isn't always as much fun as some would have you believe. It's work at times…worthwhile, but work nonetheless some days.
I get to the point where, frankly, I want to throw all caution to the winds, come out full blown, go into full time womanhood and be done with it. There would be much
good to come out of that.
But…there's a lot of bad things that could happen, too. And that's really what this little article is all about.
Ask yourself this, if/when you decide to tell someone online that they need to go full time: What are they going to lose? More importantly, would you be willing to
lose those things yourself?
I mean, it's easy from the keyboard to tell someone to go for it. There isn't the personal interaction with that person, and unless you know where they live and who
they really are, there's no real danger you'll get a phone call asking you for help moving, or help in putting that person up. In short…there's no personal assistance
involved, per se.
For example: I would certainly lose my marriage. That would be sad, but I'd live. Fortunately, we have no living children to drag through a divorce. I'd most likely end
up with my man-cat, though. I'd also lose my home…I'd have to find a place to live, probably some distance from where I am right now. I'd lose my job, and really, any
serious chance to work in my chosen field again. Oh, I could work in an office job-I have the skills-but the cut in pay at first would be financially ruinous; I'd probably have
to declare bankruptcy. I would certainly lose some of my family, though my one sister knows me as Mina, the rest of my family does not. I'd like to think that, in time, I'd
gain them back, but I don't want to bet on that. I'd lose a number of friends as well.
I'd gain a few things as well-peace of mind, freedom from hiding my secret, and a chance to make my life count for more than it does now. And yes, I'd gain a certain
amount of happiness. To live as the woman I am would be awesome, I admit it. To not have to go into male mode ever again (or, perhaps on an extremely limited basis)
would have some definite advantages, and few disadvantages.
But the things I'd lose right now would far outweigh-for the time being-the things I'd gain. That's why I try not to encourage transsexuals to go whole hog without counting
the costs…they must make that choice themselves. It's also why I tell people that this lifestyle is not for everybody. It's not-if you aren't willing to lose everything.
Too often, people suddenly decide things without thinking through all the ramifications of their actions. I have thought things through, at length. I have been prepared for
years to lose everything rather than spend the rest of my life miserable about not living as Mina. That's why I have a PO Box; a checking account and a prepaid credit card.
I also have some savings…if I had to move out on my own right now, I can at least get started while I attempt to get my bearings. I also have an action plan-what to do, and
the order in which to do it in. In short-I'm dead serious about being prepared for the day when I will most likely go full time.
I'm not suggesting you do the things I have done. But I am suggesting you put some long, hard thought into what you really want to do, and if that is really worth losing
everything you hold near and dear. If it is, then I will encourage you to “go there” when the right time comes. But not until that time.
If you're not willing…then I'd take a long, hard look at how you view your Transgenderism, as well as that of others. It's okay to do that; I encourage people to think
everything out, as much as is feasible. Plan for the “worst case scenario”…then hope it never, ever comes to that.
But if for some reason it does…you'll be ready for that, and with some things in order, you can make a good transition to your new life.
